In the Defense of Meghan Trainer

Sweeties!

We're all fabulous. And nothing gets us into a better mood than some catchy little pop song that gets stuck in your head, right? Well as of late I've heard some very negative things about some catchy little songs that I like and feel like I need to defend them almost.

Now I know my song selection goes from "Hey listen to this!" to "Please don't judge me" but they make me happy. And ultimately that's all the matters. However when other people comment on something it does get my mind going. Other's opinions matter to me (to an extent) but I am in no way going to completely change my opinion. I like to keep an open mind and be able to understand other people's viewpoints.

This came in very handy when the other day I was driving my car with some friends when "All About That Bass" comes on the radio. Alora, my friend, loves this song and enjoys jamming out to it commented on how she loves this song. Now imagine my shock when my two other friends tell her she 'couldn't like this song.'

"Excuse you?" I reply, turning down the radio.

"This song is for big girls and she's so tiny!" one replied. This is true. Alora is tiny. She fits into smalls and petite clothing. She could pretty much wear anything she wants and rock it flawlessly. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her shift uncomfortably.

"And?" I said looking at them in the rearview mirror, "It's a song about loving your body. She just said 'Every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top.' She is perfect and you are perfect. There shall be no more body hatred in Bruce (my car’s name is Bruce) anymore.”

Honestly I was really shocked that I had to pull the maternal role amongst my friends and tell them something they should already know.  So I feel like going through the song and explaining what the lyrics mean to me. (Of course; I can not speak for Meghan Trainer or her song writers. These are my opinions and interpretations. If you do not agree with them; I do encourage you to comment but please do so civilly. Statements that are meant to be rude or mean will not be tolerated in my car or on my blog.)

"Yeah it's pretty clear, I ain't no size two But I can shake it, shake it like I'm supposed to do 'Cause I got that boom boom that all the boys chase All the right junk in all the right places"

Not one of my favorite lines and here's why; you don't need any 'boom boom' for the boys to chase. If a boy is only after you for 'all the right junk in all the right places' then he is not the boy for you. And how are you supposed to ‘shake it’? Are we shaking it like a Polaroid picture? Or shaking it off?  I’m assuming it’s hip shaking since that is what I catch myself doing whenever I listen to this song. Either way, to me, Meghan Trainer is saying “I’m a big girl but that’s not gonna stop me from having fun or doing what I want.” Which is awesome, kudos!

"I see the magazines working that PhotoshopWe know that shit ain't real Come on now, make it stop If you got beauty beauty just raise 'em up 'Cause every inch of you is perfect From the bottom to the top"

Thank you Meghan. We do know that shit ain't real and it does need to stop. And we are all perfect from the bottom to the top. Every inch, every cell, every atom, every proton. Perfection.

"Yeah, my momma she told me don't worry about your sizeShe says, boys they like a little more booty to hold at night"

At first I’m like ‘Way to go momma!’ I really want to be a mom like this. I want my future daughter to never have to worry about her body, as long as she is healthy. And I want to be there and promote a healthy mentality about her body. Which is crucial for her to be that fantastic human being that I know she will be. Now; I will not be telling her that boys like ‘a little more booty to hold at night’, but I understand why momma said that. To me it sounds like something a mom would say to make their child feel better. Is it the best thing to say? Probably not, in my opinion. But it is a weird, kinda twisted way of saying 'someone will love you for you'. Which if a guy/girl likes you, they likes you. Doesn't matter what your pant size or how hairy you think your arms are; the right person will love you.

"You know I won't be no stick-figure, silicone Barbie doll, So, if that's what's you're into Then go ahead and move along"

Some people say this is 'thin shaming'. And I can see that. But I always took it as "I'm not going to completely change who I am for you." To me a 'stick-figure, silicone Barbie doll' is someone who is a shell of a person. Someone who completely changes themselves to please others. Please never do this sweeties. Just be yourself.

"I'm bringing booty back Go ahead and tell them skinny bitches that No, I'm just playing I know you think you're fat, But I'm here to tell you that, Every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top"

First things first; I do not approve of the 'skinny bitches' line. This is like someone saying "You’re a bitch… Haha, just kidding, you're awesome." I don't really get it when people do that. You can call me a bitch in a positive note like "Diana, you are a boss ass bitch. Way to get shit done." Don't call me a bitch in a negative way that makes me feel inferior to you which is what Meghan is saying here. Anyway; being skinny does not make you a bitch. Being a bitch makes you a bitch. Being 'big' doesn't automatically make you nice. I know big people who are angry and bitter jerks and I know skinny people who are the kindest, sweetest darlings. And vice versa. I'm big and I'm a nice person because I choose to be. I can be a bitch if I choose too. I could be a lot of things if I chose too.

Yes, this song is geared more towards 'curvy girls' and the call to love and accept their bodies.  But that doesn't mean that girls, at any size, could not find this inspirational. True, Meghan misses a few points and can come off as a bit mean at times but remember these things:

1.) It is just a song. It only has an affect on your life if you choose to let it. You can make it a negative thing or a positive thing. I choose to praise the positive things and explain why the negatives are negatives.

2.) Yes, we are all perfect. No, there is not one 'body type' that is better or more prized than the others. We should be celebrating our differences and loving the bodies that we have. Putting down other's will not make your body better. Let's raise each other up instead of knocking each other down.

Ultimately I think there needs to be more ‘body positivity’ songs. And this is Meghan Trainer’s take on it. Is it perfect? No. Does it help people? I’m gonna say yeah. It’s a catchy little song that makes me want to dance and ‘shake it like I’m supposed to do’.  If you like it or find it inspirational; don’t let anyone tell you not to think that. Sometimes we need those songs that give us a little extra bounce in our step.

 Stay sweet!

-Diana

Difficult

Hey sweeties!

I am one of those people that as soon as I have an idea I have to write it down or do it. Immediately.  I have to do it right away or else I will forget it. I usually try to combat this by having my laptop near to me so I can write it out. I want the laptop in front of me as my fingers click across the keyboard.  Or when I’m having a brain storm kind of day I like to have a small notebook nearby for quick notes or doodles. Lately those moments happen when I’m away from the computer. Like at work, or eating, or with family, or friends, or etc. Like today; had a blog post idea. A brilliant idea. A fantastic idea. A brilliantly fantastic idea for a blog post. 

But its gone. Might as well call that idea Elvis. Because it has left the building.

(And by ‘the building’ I mean my mind. But of course you knew that because you’re smart cookies.)

I still however have a desire to write. I don’t know what but I just need to write something. I have to hear that clickity clack of the keyboard keys. But its difficult. Some days it is difficult for me to sit down in front of the computer and write something. Most days it’s incredibly difficult. I need to be in the right frame of mind. I have to know exactly what I want to share. So when I actually want to write it’s a big deal.

Maybe I could write about the difference between ‘hard’ and ‘difficult’ as described by my college English professor.  I mean, why not right?

My professor was an interesting man. He was slightly off. Perhaps it was from being born and raised in New York City and then switching to small town Iowa. He’s a balding man with the long length of hair he does have left tied back in a ponytail. His scraggly beard almost matches the length of his hair. He always wore button up shirts with jeans and boots. In his right hand was a cane. I was never sure if he actually needed to use it, but it followed him everywhere.  During class he would leave it hanging from the edge of the dry erase board. He arrived before any other teacher and left after every teacher. He only left his office to use the ‘facilities’, teach class, or to go on a smoking break. As he strolled through the hallways, cane in hand, he would sing the notes of “If I Only Had A Brain” from the Wizard of Oz. Like I said, interesting.

During the first week of class he decided to give us a small lecture. He told us how someone had told him his class was hard.

“Hard,” he repeated. “That’s what they said. ‘You’re class is too hard.’ They said it like it was an insult.” He paused and reached for his cane. Pulling it up into his hands he looked down at it. “However, I am insulted by their use of words.”  With his free hand he gestured towards his feet,
“The ground is hard,” then with the cane he firmly hit the desk in front of him and raised his voice “This desk is hard. But my class? My class is difficult. Learn the difference.” Taking a step back he rested the cane back in its place and moved back behind his lector before addressing the class again.
“Life is difficult. Life is much more difficult than my class. If you can’t make it through this class then good luck making it through life. And if you feel like this is too much? There’s the door. You won’t be missed.”

The next class several students were missing. Turned out they dropped the class. A few were offended by the ‘difficult’ lecture and others by what he wrote on our first papers. I was terrified but didn’t think it would be that bad. So I stayed and worked through the madness. By the end of the semester I was struggling with all the papers and my other class’ course load. (I will never suggest anyone to take 5 classes a semester while working a ‘part time’ job. I say ‘part time’ because I was working 35-40 hours a week.) And unfortunately because of circumstances I missed four classes. My grade was dropped to a ‘high’ C-. Turned out that I needed .2 or something ridiculous like that to get a C. And I needed a C to pass. So of course I had to retake the English course and I bet you’ll never guess as to who my professor was.

Second time around he wasn’t that intimidating. I knew his tricks and could tell when he was putting on that ‘New York charm’ to scare us. I asked more questions and focused more in the class.  I know it was easier because I had already been in the class before, and the lesson plan was the same thing to a t. But every paper I had to rewrite. I couldn’t use the same material so that was difficult, yet it was still one of my favorite classes. As I progressed through the class I came to respect him and appreciate him and his quirky ways. I think I became one of his favorite students in the class. He always wrote great reviews on my papers and told students to ask me for peer reviews. (Peer reviews were a big deal.) He thanked me for being a good student after the last day.  It’s been a while since the class but I still remember every paper we wrote and the ‘difficult’ lesson will stick with me forever.

I bet you’re wondering what’s the moral of our story? I’m glad you asked;

When life is getting you down and people are driving you insane, just remember. It is difficult. It is supposed to be difficult. If it wasn’t difficult, it wouldn’t be worth doing it. Just think of something that will help you through it. I have a quote hanging up on my wall that reads “When it rains look for rainbows. When it’s dark; look for stars.” It reminds me too keep an eye out for that silver lining. The silver linings are what make life worth all that trouble. Sometimes that is the only thing that gets me through the day. So go out and find your silver lining. Go out and find something that makes life worth all the nonsense. It can be shoes, chocolate, flowers, stars, or rainbows. Anything that makes you smile or causes your little heart to flutter in joy. Whatever it is I hope you find it and treasure it always.

 

Stay sweet!
-Diana

Hey good looking!

Hey sweeties!

You are looking fantastic today. Is it your hair? That shirt? Either way you are rocking it and if I could I'd give you a big box of "Sorry I've been gone so long" chocolates I would. I don't know how many people read this or follow me, but either way, I've missed you.

I really think the main reason for my absence has been a 'lack of direction' for the blog. But after reading some other blogs I've realized I don't need a direction. All I need is a desire. A desire to write and share. The desire to create and maybe even inspire. I'm fairly certain I have that desire. I also wasn't able to post as much as I'd want, but hey, life happens. So what if I don't get a post up every single day. My life still goes and I desperately hope your life is still going on.

So what have you missed? Let me tell you:

• New job(s). After my last blog post I picked up a second job as a waitress in a restaurant. The restaurant, sadly, closed in January, leaving me with my original job. Now I'm leaving the original job I've had for ten years (Eek! Ten years?!) and moving onto another one that promises me more hours. Some days I really don't want to leave this job. Then I get a big heaping dose of reality and I realize this is for the best.
• I'm still not in a relationship. And that's okay. I am looking more. I've joined a dating site and I've even been on a few dates. I'm talking to a few guys and I even have plans to meet a couple of them. Two of the guys I've met have actually become friends which, to me, is better than 'Okay this didn't work out, peace!' and I never hear from them again.
• I'm still at home. When I was working two jobs I almost had enough to move out, but then the restaurant closed so I started paying off more on my student loans instead. Also finding an apartment that's affordable? Insane! Near our town a new factory is being built and the guys working there have plenty of money to spend. So all the landlords in the area have bumped up their prices to take that money. Which, if I was a landlord, I'd keep my prices a little below the competition so I can have more possible tenants and less time of having the apartment sitting empty. One particular spot I had in mind (that I was interested in and had hopes of renting but is way over my 'I'm comfortable paying this amount'') has been sitting for months now because the landlord is being stubborn.

Otherwise I think everything is still the same. But with new job I'm hoping to move out, and with being more adventurous when it comes to dating maybe I'll even get myself a boyfriend before the years done.

But who knows?!

Life is funny like that. That one expression; Want to make God laugh? Tell him your plans. I feel like its like that. And it could be the universe, or karma, or anything really. You can't plan things out well. The only part of my "plan" I've been able to keep is save money and be more adventurous. Which isn't bad, its been more than I have been doing.

So here's to improving and balancing out life!

Stay sweet!
-Diana