Well if it isn't Ethel Barrymore!

Our wonderful, wordy, Wednesday is Singin' in the Rain theme! There are so many great one liners from this musical. If I wanted I would list every single quote and lyric from this movie, but this post would be the longest read ever. It's still pretty long; but this is the shortest list I could come up with. So many witty comments they used to use in old movies! I love them. Some days I desperately want someone to set me up to say one. For example;

 

 

See?! Cosmo (Cos) Brown, is excellent in this film. His "Make 'Em Laugh" number is one of best in the whole movie. The funny best friend to Don Lockwood; he says some of my favorite witty one liners;

 

R.F. Simpson: Lina, you were gorgeous!

Cosmo Brown: Yeah, Lina, you looked pretty good for a girl.

 

Rod: Lina, you're a beautiful woman. Audiences think you've got a voice to match. The studio's gotta keep their stars from looking ridiculous at any cost.

Cosmo Brown: Nobody's got that much money.

 

Don Lockwood: What's the matter with that girl? Can't she take a gentle hint?

Cosmo Brown: Well haven't ya heard? She's irresistible. She told me so herself.

 

Cosmo: Talking pictures, that means I'm out of a job. At last I can start suffering and write that symphony.

R.F. Simpson: You're not out of job, we're putting you in as head of our new music department.
Cosmo: Oh, thanks, R.F.! At last I can stop suffering and write that symphony.

 

Cosmo: Lina. She can't act, she can't sing, she can't dance. A triple threat.

 

Then there's Lina Lamont. The 'villian' of our little musical. Now given the chance to ever perform in this musical; I would love to be Lina. Namely because of this line;

 

Lina: "People"? I ain't "people." I am a - "a shimmering, glowing star in the cinema firmament." [picks up newspaper] It says so - right here.

 

And this one;

 

 

And the ever popular, reoccurring joke;

 

Then of course there's Don Lockwood;

 

 

Dang, he's smooth.

 

Neato, mosquitos!

 

 

 

What a glorious feeling!

(To clear up some confusion as to why Monday's post is showing up on Wednesday; I tried the Schedule settings and had it set to post on Monday morning. I don't know why it didn't post; but the show must go on! So enjoy two posts for today! You lucky ducks!)

There are days when everything goes absolutely wrong. (Someway or another I don't get enough sleep. Work was difficult. Someone said a comment that was none too pleasant. People were difficult. I just need to cry.) Sunday was one of those days. On these days I like to watch a little movie called; Singin' in the Rain.

 

The easiest, non spoiler way to describe this movie is "the movie shows a silent film production company and cast making the difficult transition to sound." I don't' want to give away too much because I want you all to go out and watch it right away. Like now.

Right now.

What are you waiting for!? I'm not going anywhere.

I'm in love with this musical. It is my ultimate 'feel good movie'.  I love the dancing, songs, jokes, and the actors. Oh the actors! I mean; have you seen Gene Kelly?

God Bless America!

I don't really do the whole "Man Crush Monday" thing, but seriously. He's attractive and you can't deny it. He's one of my favorite actors. And his smile? Love. The absolute joy on his face when he's dancing? Adore. Just. Gah! Love.



They just don't make them like this anymore.

He's a triple threat. And his Singin' in the Rain number is iconic. It makes me want to dance in the rain. It makes me want to dance any time, any where. It's hard for me to explain how I feel during this scene. He's so happy and in love that he can't do anything but sing, dance, and jump around in puddles. His absolute joy and happiness of feeling joy and happiness is addicting and it makes me smile every time.

 

 

Since these past few weeks have been a little crummy; I think I'll make this one 'feel good' week. It'll be the usual stuff; but with a little 'Singin' twist to them. So enjoy this glorious week. You know I will!

(Somebody buy me this poster please?!)

 

Keep it on the table, Mabels!

(What is Mabel doing that it has to be on the table? The questions these things make me ask.)

 

I'm lucky in your arms

I'm not having a great day. Actually I'm not having a great week. I just need someone to give me chocolate and tell me I'm pretty.

 

It's unpleasant.

 

I had planned on writing up a bunch of posts but sadly; I'm not feeling it. However I feel really guilty to to make up for it; here's one of my favorite songs from Singin' in the Rain. The last number between Don (Gene Kelly) and Kathy (Debbie Reynolds) and its so lovely.

 

You are my lucky star
I saw you from afar
Two lovely eyes, at me they were beamin', gleamin'
I was star-struck

You're all my lucky charms
I'm lucky in your arms
You've opened heaven's portal here on earth for this poor mortal
You are my lucky star

 

I'm going to watch this movie now and eat an unhealthy amount of chocolate. Hope your day is going better than mine.

 

Give a hug, lady bugs!

 



"Yeah," said Finn, "don't you always call sweatpants "give-up-on-life" pants, Jake?

"I do because peeps need to respect themselves when they leave the house. Even if it's just for ice cream, or TP, or whatevs." - Jake the Dog from Adventure Time.


When I woke up this morning I thought today was going to be terrible. But it actually turned out pretty well. Here’s a list of what went right:

1. I slept in today.

Usually this could be seen as a bad thing for me but it was much needed. (My phone alarm is always set to go off three times in ten minute intervals. Don’t ask me why, but I have to have three alarms go off. I don’t leave my bed until the third alarm. If I have to wake up early then I set them with 5 minute intervals. It’s weird, I know, no judging.) But today either the alarms went off and I didn’t hear them or I just woke up and turned them off because I woke up much, much later than I had planned. I haven't been feeling well or getting much sleep lately. I physically felt better and more ‘well-rested’ than usual.

2. I didn’t have to work today.

I don’t think I need an explanation for this one.

3. I actually did everything on my ‘to-do’ list.

I took my time with all my chores. Of course the ‘paint this board’ will have to wait since it was raining off and on all day and I need to spray paint that. (DIY project)

4. I saw Rixton on tv.

I spent approximately 3 hours watching Nickelodeon because Rixton were guests on The Haunted Hathaways, the hosts of Awesomeness TV, and were the Fresh Artist on Top 10 on Teen Nick.

I’m a serious adult. And they’re a serious band. No judgement.

5. I was complimented.

This is what actually helped today. Since I was planning on just staying home cleaning I put my hair up in a bandana, Rosie the Riveter style. I was wearing a tank top and pajama bottoms, when my sister asked for a ride to work. So I changed into my leopard dress and a cardigan. It didn’t feel right so when I got back home I changed back into the tank top and put on capri leggings. Then I had to drive back to work to pick up my sister after her shift. Wanting to look halfway decent I decided to change yet again since I had to go inside the store, buy dinner, and ask my brother if he needed a ride home.  (Have I mentioned that all my siblings and I work at the same grocery store?) I settled on a black maxi dress and put on my favorite cardigan hoping that would help my fashion rut of today.

I looked into the mirror before leaving the house and did not like the look. I didn’t look like my usual high standard self. I was nervous that someone would mention how bad my hair looked or something about how I’ve worn this dress for the last 4 times I’ve been in the store. (When not in uniform and I had to do some quick shopping and this dress was on top of my clothes pile so I would throw it on to leave the house then change out as soon as I got home.) I don’t like going outside in pajamas or my ‘lounge wear.’ On the ride over I just kept thinking “I hope ‘So and so’ isn’t there. ‘So and so’ would definitely comment on the state of my hair.” and “Please don’t let ‘Cute Boy’ see me. I am not cute enough to talk to him right now.”

As I parked the car I gave myself a pep talk. I told myself if I act like my confident self then I’ll be alright. No one will notice and it’ll be fine. And remember “Those who mind, don’t matter and those who matter, don’t mind.” (Yes, I quote Dr. Seuss in my pep talks to myself. Serious adult.) I walked into that store pretending I was wearing a Givenchy gown. I don’t know if it was my boost of confidence or if I looked much better than I actually gave myself credit for but a lot of my co-workers complimented me. Someone from the Kitchen area really liked my cardigan, a sweet girl who works in the Grocery department said I looked ‘super cute’ and one of the boys agreed with her. Then of course ‘Cute Boy’ was there. He smiled at me.

And he looked happy to see me.

My heart fluttered a little bit.

But back to reality.

One of the guys I joke around with told me I needed to learn how to wear a bandana so I had to give him a brief history on Rosie the Riveter. Cute boy said I needed to wear the bandana in my back jeans pocket Bruce Springsteen style. I told him if I was wearing jeans I probably would. And he laughed.

He has such a cute laugh.

And he smiled again.

There’s a reason I call him Cute Boy people. I’m crushing hard. (May I remind you of my crushed post? Go read it real quick. I’ll wait for you.)

The whole point I was trying to make before Cute Boy interrupted me;

I still need to respect myself, but I don’t have to be as insanely self-conscious about how I look. After my break up I had in my mind that I had to look put together all the time. The whole ‘I have my life together’ thing I talked about before. But I don’t have to be ‘super model ready’ to go to the supermarket. I knew this before but it’s nice to be reminded once in a while.

So here I am to remind you. Embrace your messy hair. You can be fabulous without foundation. You can be your charming self without mascara. You don’t need concealer to crack a joke.* Impress yourself. Don’t impress others. Remember that Dr. Seuss quote from before? Just be yourself and surround yourself with people who raise you up. And be that person who raises up others. I am ultimately saying; You do you. Just keep being your awesome self and everything will fall into line.**

Chop chop, lollipops!

*This is not me going on a “don’t wear make up” feminist rant. If you don’t like wearing make up, you don’t have to wear make up. If you like wearing make up, wear make up.

**Also I really hope this whole thing makes sense. I’m feeling a bit feverish and is still a bit sleep deprived.

Musically Wordy Wednesday!

Hi!

Did you miss me? I've missed you.

The last few days was one of the absolute greatest days of my life.

As I said before I GOT TO SEE RIXTON!!! Which was wonderful. Because they're wonderful. And I'm even more in love with them. Especially Danny. Sweet, sweet Danny....

Sorry (I'm not sorry), back to business.

Since I missed my Musical Monday since the concert was Monday; we're gonna combine my two favorite days and show a music video and some quotes! Wahoo!!!

So enjoy! And wait till Friday. I'll be talking about my shopping trip and maybe my Rixton concert outfit.

 

This is Speakerphone. It is my ABSOLUTE favorite Rixton song. We went to the meet and greet and I asked them if they could play it. I even said 'pretty please.' And they said 'Maybe.' Turns out it was the first song they played. I don't know about you; but to me, it means they played it just for me.

 

 

Maybe two, Kangaroo

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping.

Style, for me, is using fashion to express yourself. It can show everyone how you're feeling, your creativity, your whole being essentially. I like how I can create an outfit that can express my mood or help my mood. I like how my wardrobe allows me to do this. I don't even have a 'name' for my style. On some days I feel like a librarian but I don't think that should be considered a style. But I do know how I want to look. I know what I want people to think when they see me. And I think I'm doing a pretty good job at that, if I do say so.

My dear friend Alora has decided to upgrade her closet/style. And she has asked me for help. I was completely flattered and confused. I'm not really a very fashion forward person. I know what is 'in style' but that doesn't mean I wear it. If I have even the smallest thought that something would not work for my 'body type' I avoid it. Anything with ruffles? No thank you. Strapless dress? Ha! Nice try. Ankle pants? Nope. I dress for my body type. That's what I know. I know of what looks good on lovely big chests and bodacious big bottoms. Alora has an adorable petite frame. And to be clear I am in no way saying that one body type is better than the other. We are all beautiful just the way we are and we don't need to change a thing. My problem is I'm used to 'hiding' a chest not accentuating one.
Her style is also "interesting" as she puts it. Some days she wants to look like a showgirl, a drag queen, a biker chick, or Gwen Stefani. She likes lolita and bohemian styles. I've seen her in everything from sweatpants and a sports bra to one of the most stunning prom dresses I've ever seen. She is one of those girls who could potentially get away with wearing anything. So her having the 'world as her oyster' as far as fashion goes intimidates me a bit. 

I have an idea of how I want to handle this 'project.' First step was cleaning out her closet. Second, we started an 'inspiration' board on Pinterest. Now we're moving onto step three; getting the clothes. We have plans to hit up a crazy sale soon and hopefully we will score big. Not sure yet if we will find everything she wants (I made her write out a wish list); but I do know that I won't let her buy anything unless she looks absolutely fabulous.

And I think that's why she asked for my help. I will be honest with her. If she's looking a bit scandalous (in a bad way) I will let her know. Because that's what friends do. I will happily stand outside her dressing room door and help her analyze the length and versatility of an item. If she needs another size, I will hunt down the rack and search through it. I will answer the important questions honestly. Important questions like; How does this look? Is this weird? How do you wear this? Is this a shirt or a dress? I plan on showing her how she can take one item and make 5 outfits with it. Does she have to listen to my advice? No. And I'm not going to be upset about it. In the end; it's her body, her style, her message to the world.

So with Alora's blessings I plan on sharing the details of our shopping trip. If not I will also be shopping on this trip so you can hear about all the pretty things I bought/saw/wished I could have bought.

Do you know what I mean, Jellybean?

Wait, what? It's Wednesday?!

 

 

Some day I will add where I found these at, but for the most part they have all been found on Pinterest if  you are interested in finding their original sources.

 

 

 

Better Swish, Jellyfish

You Are Appreciated

 I'm going to have a total hipster moment right now, and I apologize (I'm so, so sorry) but I liked Rixton before they were on the radio.

I've been in love with these boys many months before they released their songs over here in the states. I mean seriously; I just want to hug them, squeeze them, and have them call me 'love'. Oh, and have them play their music for me. Is that too much to ask? And whenever this little song starts to play I gasp or squeak. Right now, its one of the few things that make me honestly excited.

I prefer this one to the VEVO official, but check that one out too.

I can't wait to see them grow and gain the success that I think they deserve. But go look them up on  YouTube. I found them from their cover of Taylor Swift's Trouble. I love their version much MUCH more than hers. Sorry Taylor I'm not sorry. All their covers are brilliant, the songs they release are wonderful, and their music videos are fantastic! But I might just be a bit biased and be fan-girling at the moment. Either way, this song is one of my lifesavers and I'm so grateful for it.

I'm probably going to keep having Rixton for the next few Music Mondays mostly because I'M GOING TO THEIR SHOW!!!! Myself and few friends are going up to Minnesota to see these lovely lads perform. Needless to say I have be sporadically happy dancing everywhere whenever I think about it. I'm going shopping Thursday to find an outfit for the show and I'm just giddy over it! :)

Any requests for Music Mondays after Rixton? Or any suggestions of bands/musicians I should listen too? Let me know! I like feed back for anything!

Adios, hippos!

All I ever wanted

Language is fun. Words are fun. I can put up one word and it can evoke a whole plethora of emotions/thoughts. For example:

Vacation.

See? Now lets try this again. But this time, lets add another word to the mix.

Family vacation.

I'm assuming those words received a different reaction than the first. At least they do for me.

Today, Friday, my family and I are leaving on vacation.

Now I love my family dearly, I really do, but being trapped with them for three days is a little bit stressful to me. I'm getting nervous just thinking about it. We will be in a mini van for 5 hours. I will share a small hotel room with my siblings and our vastly different personas/personalities. Then we'll have to go out into a strange new land (Missouri) and try to enjoy ourselves. Worst of all; we will have to 'act normal' whatever that means. I always feel like I need a vacation from my family after our vacations. Please tell me I'm not the only one?

So I'll be gone for a few days but as soon as we're back I'll reveal the horrifying/wonderful experience that is our family vacation.

Always the optimist, folks. Wish me luck.

Chew your food, Gertrude!
(Yeah...I don't even know...YOLO.)

Oh look at that. I've been impaled.

For some unknown reason; I decided I wanted to end each blog post with a fun little send off. For example; See you later Alligator, Bye, bye Buffalos, After while Crocodiles. I like to say things like that in real life so I felt like it would make it a little bit more personal. Well that was all well and good, until I had the 'brilliant' idea to have them be in alphabetical order. And by alphabetical order I mean the second part; alligator, buffalo, crocodile, dinosaur, etc. It doesn't have to make sense.

My blog.

My rules.

YOLO.

While I was thinking about all the different sayings I remembered that a friend of mine would have something like a competition with me. I would say one and he would say one back. So of course I looked up a bunch of them so I'd have new ones to respond with. Normal people do that right? Anyway one night after we had a "good-bye off" he sent me a massive message on Facebook filled with those little sayings. I thought it was really sweet. (Shall I remind y'all of the crush post? He was nice to me. Boom. Crush.) Well long story short; we became good friends, eventually started dating, then we broke up. Well; he broke up with me.

I can't speak for him. I don't know how he was feeling, what he was thinking, basically; his side of the story. I can't know that and I don't think I ever will (which infuriates me so much! I have to know why, all. the. time. That's how things make sense to me.) It was my first 'real' relationship. And being the socially awkward thing that I am; had no idea how to react to a break-up. My friends where telling me I had to be outraged. That I should curse his name and never speak to him again. But I just couldn't do it. He was still my friend and I couldn't bring myself to be mad. He and I were still hanging out and I had hoped we would become good friends again. Unfortunately I don't think that's going to happen. Which is incredibly upsetting for me.

And this is the part where you go "Oh sweetie, why would you do that?" I wanted to find that massive message. To find that message I had to go through so many messages we shared between each other. I tried really hard not to read some of them, but like an idiot, I would glance at one or two. And it hurt. It hurt me more than I thought it would. Much more than it should. How did this end so badly? I missed the friendship we had. I missed him. This huge wave of emotions overtook me and slammed me into a wall, repeatedly. I just kept thinking “Don’t think about it. It’ll be over soon. Hold it together for a bit longer. Just don’t think about it. You'll be okay."

All this time I've spent a lot of time and energy avoiding my feelings. Of course like any one who isn't over somebody I constantly bring him up. Then people would tell me how I should feel. If I didn't agree with their opinion I would essentially shut down and not feel anything or continue with that current emotional state.  More than anything I wanted people to think that I had it together. That I didn't care about him or what he was doing hanging out with whats-her-face. But the only reason I felt like I had my life together was because it wasn't really a life. I was living it safe. I worked, went home, hung out with my family and sometimes friends. There wasn't any chance to do something rebellious. To do something out of my danger zone. There was no chance for me to become uncomfortable or emotionally compromised. If I was feeling anything I would bottle it up. Then one day I would have a break down. You could find me sobbing into the floor of my bedroom, confused by all these feelings that exploded at once and feeling lonelier than I ever imagined I could feel.

This certainly isn't a healthy way to deal with emotions and it certainly isn't how I want to live my life. I'm admitting that I'm not able to handle my emotions as well as I thought I could. I've decided I would much rather live life to the fullest point and not bottle up all my emotions. I want to cry when I feel like crying and scream when I feel like screaming. If I feel like I need to punch something, I might just find someone who would be willing to let me punch their arm (trust me; they would not be hurt by this) or have them hold up something for me to punch.

Living life is messy and uncomfortable at times but I'd much rather be a little uncomfortable and a mess for a little while than to be living a lie. I don't have it together. This one quote I really like; "I am flawed and I am human and I am broken and I am trying." Just being able to pick myself off the ground and go out into the world is an accomplishment some days. And I know I wouldn't be where I am now without all my amazing, fantastic, wonderful friends. I need to thank them for listening to me so much even when I got a little on the obnoxious side. And just being there for me was amazing and I truly appreciate you all. Words cannot describe how grateful I am to have you in my life. My life would suck without you! So thank you so much. And know that I’m going to be okay. Not today, maybe not tomorrow, but I will be okay. I’m going to attempt some rebellion soon which I will be very happy to share with you.

Don't panic, flight mechanic!

Words, words, words

If you haven't noticed by now.  I like words. I like how they sound. I like how they look. I like how you can take 6 letters throw them together and make a word. One of the blogs I follow how a feature called Wordless Wednesdays. They just post a picture and let the picture do the talking.
I can't do that.
So I've come up with Wordy Wednesdays. I collect quotes from all over the internet and I'm going to share them with you. Usually they're words of wisdom and sometimes they are just things to make me feel better about certain situation. So without further adieu; here's my Wonderfully Wordy Wednesday!

 

 

Chew your food, Gertrude!
(Some of these are downright ridiculous, but I love them)

 

 



This is my thought process. Good Luck.

I read a lot of blogs. I like getting to know the bloggers and their passions. I enjoy knowing that they're having a wonderful life and if they're not; they still power through. The whole 'blogging community' that I've read so much about is so fascinating to me. And now that I have a little blog all my own I've been thinking about how I want mine to be. Do I want to share this? Share about that? Is this even blog worthy? How do I get a really cool header like everyone else?

Most of the blogs I do read are generally really focused on one or two topics. They focus on these topics and then occasionally they'll bring up a side topic. Some are all over the board; "Look at this!" "Look at that!" "Look at those!" Sometimes it's nice to have that focus of having a "insert topic here" blog, but I don't think I have that focus in my life yet. I don't think I've ever had focus for one thing for very long actually. I like to find something, lets say a hobby, then I devote my entire life and being to said hobby. I spend my time looking for new supplies and inspiration for the hobby that I sometimes run out of time to actually do the hobby.

Lets bring up my sewing experience. Last year I made a few stuffed animals. I ended up making two stuffed animals with patterns and few were made 'freestyle' i.e. no patterns used. After making some of them I thought it would be fun to start selling them. I imagined a cute little booth at a craft fair filled with adorable little faces. I then started looking up how to even sell things at craft fair and the best way to create profit, generate a following, etc. I was so wrapped up in what could be and the future end result that I stopped making the stuffed animals. That's what happens every time. I get so caught up in how I want everything to 'end' essentially that I end all the projects. I get so overwhelmed trying to map out my path that I get lost on the path. (I've also noticed that I speak in metaphors. Thanks blog.)

I would like to start sewing again. I liked the process of making something out of nothing essentially. I also have a bunch of other crafting stuff that I'd like to get caught back up on. Life sorta got in the way but now I think I should be able to get everyhing started again. Now this timearound I won't be able to guarantee getting caught up in the 'what could be'. It's good motivation for me to actually do things some days. But now that I've called myself out; maybe I can talk myself down and stay focused in the now. I've got to enjoy the moments while I'm in them. Otherwise I'll just be a bitter old woman looking back on my life saying "I wish I had known how happy I actually was back then."
(Wow, that escalated quickly. See? I fixate on the end result in everything! Ha! Anyway! Back to the original topic.)

Long story short: It's easy to get caught up in the future, but I wont' have that future unless I work towards it now. So I have to stay focused and remind myself that I'm here in the present. I'll reach that future eventually but not without a little effort now. I still don't know what this blog will 'be' but I think right now I like the rambling topics. Its nice to get these thoughts out of my head.

Bye, bye, French Fries!

What are we waiting for?

I almost cried the first time I really listened* to this song.

I have no idea why. Was it just that good that I was brought to tears? Or did it coincide with something happening in that point of my life? Not sure anymore. I unintentionally named this blog after that song. It wasn't until after I read the "congrats; you've got a blog now" sign that I realized this song is still a part of my life. Actually, this is going to be one of those songs that I will remember every word for life.



When Some Nights was released, this song became my anthem. I've even considered getting Some Nights as a tattoo with two little stars. Because I'm a nerd like that. I would sing it everywhere and I added "have a voice like Nate Ruess/be Nate Ruess" to my list of standards for dating. To be clear; I'm still single. Clearly. Either! way; I loved it BEFORE it was everywhere and now that it's hype has faded away I still love it just the same.

So what do you guys think? Should I make Musical Mondays a thing? It would make this blog make a little more sense maybe? You can pick and choose what you want me to ramble about!

Out the door, Dinosaurs!

(*By really listened I mean when you sit there and try to understand exactly every word they're saying to which you give up and search for the lyrics online.)

 



Crushed

"I think crushes are great, you know. They make the world go 'round; because otherwise you know, Taylor Swift would like, not have a career." – Alice Wetterlund from MTV's Girl Code.

Scarily accurate on how easy I get crushes. I can feel them creeping up on me too. It's a snowball effect time and time again. It all starts with one little snowflake. The guy will smile at me, or acknowledge my existence. It doesn't take much. At all. I could pretty much "like-like" someone if they're nice to me.
Then next thing I know I'm wishing I could see him. And then seeing him just makes my day. I make up conversations that we could potentially have. Then when I do get a chance to talk to him; all eloquence goes out the window. In my mind I'm super fly (I'll never say that again, promise) but he shows up and I can't  function like a normal human being should. I.e. dropping things, saying stupid things (word vomit), blushing like an idiot. I am guilty of all these things. This is that moment when that snowflake joins all his buddies and turns into a giant snow boulder and chases some poor innocent snowboarder down a dangerous mountain filled with trees. (If you can't tell; I've only had 4 hours of sleep last night.)

But am I ashamed of myself? No. These are typical human emotions. And to know that all girls experience these feelings, at all stages of life (not just middle school), makes me feel a less socially awkward. I mean I'm socially awkward, don't get me wrong, that's still going on. But I've always imagined I could seduce someone with my awkwardness. Only they would call it 'quirky' or some other complimentary word to make me feel better about myself.

I'm a little rusty with the whole dating scene. It's been a while (to put it nicely) but I think I might be ready to go out again. I figured it wouldn't be so bad to go on a couple of dates. If anything I'll make a new friend out of it. Which would be great because all my friends keep leaving me to go off to college. (The jerks.) But I still love them all very much; and they all very much want me to visit when school starts. A couple friends have even said they could try to set me up with some guy at their school. Their intentions are well intended but they don't see the problem. (Why would I want to be in a relationship with someone who lives 3 hours away and I'll only get to physically see them two, maybe three, times a year at least? Apparently I'm not a very good romantic in that sense, but I'm really great at all other aspects of being a romantic.) I don't want to be set up on a date. I want it to happen naturally. I want him to see me from across the room and then feel compelled to come and talk to me. Or heck, I'll go across the room and start talking.

It's lame but I want a romantic comedy of a relationship with a happy ending. I want someone to like me for me. Accept that I'm not going to be very good at first person shooter games but (scary) good at Disney Scene-It. I'm not going to be able to kick a soccer ball/ throw a football/ hit a baseball/ shoot a basketball/ putt in golf/ do any of the sports well but if you ask nicely I will try to play. And don't get mad or weird-ed out at my uber-competitive-ness even though we both know I'm not going to win. Like ever. Maybe I'll win once or twice, which will give me an inflated ego and you'll pray that I lose next time so I'm more tolerable. I'm going to quote the movie we're watching, or comment through it, or ask twenty questions, or sing-a-long to the songs, or talk about the actors and what other movies they've been in. And I will feel bad about doing that; but I can't stop it. I've tried. I'm going to constantly want to cuddle/be in physical contact with them at all times, which is weird for me because I usually am very 'don't touch me' around people. I want them to sit with me on a blanket under the stars and let me point out constellations and share the stories behind them. I'm going to be covered up with a blanket when it's 90 degrees outside and sleep in pajama shorts in the winter.

But all kidding aside
I'm not planning on changing for them and I don't expect them to change for me. They're not perfect and neither am I. So I need to continually remind myself that when I do have a crush on someone; I can't put them up on this pedestal that's too far out of my reach. I can't keep telling myself there is no way they could ever like me and if they do they're deranged, abnormal, or a serial killer who needs someone so they look normal. (I live in constant fear that I'm going to meet a real life Dexter.) I need to stop creeping on them so much and actually start to talk to them like the normal person I like to pretend to be and show them little bits of my craziness(then when they actually start dating me I'll let all the crazy out. Poor, unfortunate soul.)

Basically; I'm thinking of taking my own advice and find guys that I could potentially hang out with. I'm not sure if it will go anywhere, but I'm at least going to try. That's all I can do. So I'm going to take this one day at a time and keep being my adorkable self.
P.S. Check out Girl Code. It's funny, cute, awesome, every joyful thing in the world. My opinion, and I'm not getting paid.

After while Crocodiles!

Fashionable Fridays?

Fashion. Oh fashion. What can I say about fashion?

My absolute favorite thing about fashion can be summed up in a quote from Pirates of the Caribbean actually. "The code is more what you'd call "guidelines" than actual rules." (I don't know why I think of this quote from Barbosa every time but it works.) Fashion rules really are more of a guideline. With that being said; I love clothes.
So.
Much.
And I haven't always been like this. For most of my childhood I never thought about fashion. It was never something I worried too much about. We would wear hand me downs, shop at the consignment store in town, and head straight towards the sales rack at any major store. And of course Mom was buying the clothes so she had to approve of them (and afford them). For the majority of my school years I wore nothing but graphic tees and jeans. And there is nothing wrong with graphic tees and jeans! At all. If that’s what you like then go for it. But after a while I started to get tired of the same old, same old and I didn’t feel like I was being entirely myself.

I'm still gradually building up my wardrobe and finding my 'style.' I am, however, leaning toward a certain style. For example; cardigans. I have so many cardigans, guys.
So.
Many.
I have outfits that I can pull together out of clothes that I already have. Let’s say I’m going to the movies with friends. I’m can wear a cardigan, tank top/shirt, shorts, and sandals. I have several different variations of this outfit. I also follow a lot of fashion blogs and I save outfits they put together and try to mimic them to the best of my abilities. I think I look good; I don't look like a slob by any means; but some days I do feel like an outfit is off or I’ll buy something then bring it home and have no idea how or when to wear it. Or worse, I think it will go exactly with this outfit I have put together in my head only to have my soul crushed when it doesn’t work. At all.

I'm starting to take how I look very seriously. I know what looks good on me and what doesn't. I'm beginning to accept me for me. I know that there are some things that will not look good on me and that’s okay. There are things that I’m going to want to wear but will not work for my body type. I'm looking at you backless dresses! I want to be fashionable but I also want to be logical.  What's the point of wearing one shirt for only one season? I'll forget about it before that season comes around again and then it won’t be ‘in style’ so I won’t want to wear it.

So next time I go shopping I’m going to think of how I can incorporate that item into all four seasons or at least three out of four seasons. This whole ‘building up my wardrobe’ is one of those could-be-expensive projects that I like to take on. I do suffer from "Fill-up-the-cart-itice." If I like something; I'm going to buy it. But I have plans my friends! I plan to learn from my momma and look straight back to the discount rack and hit up sales and such.  So hopefully this isn't a horrible catastrophe and I end up with things I like that won't break the bank or break my heart when they don't come in my size. And I'll eventually be able to describe my 'style' that I so desperately want to define.

Also! I’m thinking that some Fridays I might have a “Is this Fashion? Friday”. I’ll show an outfit that was a little off or has potential but I’m not sure where to take it from there. Or maybe I’ll just find some absurd designer dress and ponder how anyone could function in it. Anyway; it’s good to get some opinions from the outside world. It’s a thought. What do you think?

Bye bye Butterflies!

Don't you, forget about me!

I have heard the phrase "You're so nice," so many times in my life in so many different variations; you don't even know.

You.
Don't.
Even.
Know.

So when I told a friend of mine that I could be mean he laughed in my face.

Seriously.
Straight up laughed in my face.
Which made me sad.
We're not talking much anymore.
Which makes me sad.

Anyway they say a bit of rebellion is healthy once in a while, right? However I don't know how to be rebellious. Other than what they show on t.v. And movies. Does anyone else have aspirations to be as "Don't-give-a-%$@#" as Judd Nelson in the Breakfast Club? Just walk across a football field while the music is blared up and throw up your fist in a "Yeah take that football coaches. I walked across your field! How do you like me know?!" as the screen fades to the credits? No? Well that's just me then actually.

Long story short: In high school our football coaches were super douches. And that's putting it nicely.
Now whenever I walk across the football field; I dig my heel in a little deeper than I should and twist my foot into the dirt. I like to think that where ever they are; the coaches clutch their chest in pain or their football sense starts tingling.

Back to business: The fact that I want to be more rebellious just proves that I am in fact, not rebellious. I don't try new foods. I usually stay away from patterns with clothes. I avoid confrontation and certain people even. I know I need to break out of this routine I've put myself into. And by 'rebelling' I hope I can get to where I want to be. So I've decided I'm just going to wing it. Not put any thought into it at. all. Which is, in fact, very rebellious for me. And I'm serious about this too. I wrote a list about the topics for this post if that can tell you anything.

Crap, I'm thinking about how I'm going to wing it!
.....Still thinking...
Dang it!
May haps my thinking about my not thinking of rebellion is in fact a rebellion?

Guh. I think I just shorted out my brain.

So for me, and yourselves; go out and cause some 'mayhem'. Whatever is rebellious for you, do it. Slightly twist your foot on the football field. Listen to your music a little too loud. Step on that crack and potentially break your mother's back. Don't eat an apple for a day and meet a hot doctor, or The Doctor (give yourself a high five if you understand this reference). The possibilities are endless for some good healthy revolution of rebellion! (Just don't do anything illegal or stupid okay? I don't want to be sued for encouraging you guys to break free.)

*throws fist up*

See you later; alligators!

Welcome

Some nights I stay up cashing in my bad luck.  Some nights I call it a draw.  Some nights I wish that my lips could build a castle.  Some nights I wish they'd just fall off.  But I still wake up, I still see your ghost, Oh, Lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for.  What do I stand for?  What do I stand for?  Most nights I don't know anymore.  -Some Nights by Fun.

Hello sweeties. My name is Diana.

Lets get straight to the point.

I'm going through what I'm going to call a "quarter life crisis."  I don't know what I'm doing with my life or how to move on from this point. I've lost my 'footing' and for me, who lives by lists and plans, it's killing me from the inside. (Honestly I had my life planned out since third grade. Weird, right?)

Even though, sometimes it feels like I need a checklist to get me through everyday, I've never been able to keep a diary or a journal. Which is weird right? From what I gather, journals are written sections of what went on in your day to day life. Basically a checklist with details.  The longest I've ever kept a journal is a month. And I was proud of that month too! After reminiscing and flipping through the pages I realized, I'm very boring. Every day was "I woke up, went to work, came home, slept, then woke up the next day." Not very inspiring to keep something like that. So this whole thing is about me breaking out of that boring routine and trying to shake things up a bit. Possibly even vent/rant/rave about something new in life.

Now since I'm trying to find my footing, shake things up, and move on in life I think it's time that I continue to try new things. I'm not going to promise a post every day, but definitely (possibly) once a week. I plan on posting how I'm feeling or what I'm doing. Maybe even things I'm interested in or things I want to do.

Either way it's going to be wonderful and potentially awkward and I hope you stay with me and enjoy the time!

-Diana