When I woke up this morning I thought today was going to be terrible. But it actually turned out pretty well. Here’s a list of what went right:
1. I slept in today.
Usually this could be seen as a bad thing for me but it was much needed. (My phone alarm is always set to go off three times in ten minute intervals. Don’t ask me why, but I have to have three alarms go off. I don’t leave my bed until the third alarm. If I have to wake up early then I set them with 5 minute intervals. It’s weird, I know, no judging.) But today either the alarms went off and I didn’t hear them or I just woke up and turned them off because I woke up much, much later than I had planned. I haven't been feeling well or getting much sleep lately. I physically felt better and more ‘well-rested’ than usual.
2. I didn’t have to work today.
I don’t think I need an explanation for this one.
3. I actually did everything on my ‘to-do’ list.
I took my time with all my chores. Of course the ‘paint this board’ will have to wait since it was raining off and on all day and I need to spray paint that. (DIY project)
4. I saw Rixton on tv.
I spent approximately 3 hours watching Nickelodeon because Rixton were guests on The Haunted Hathaways, the hosts of Awesomeness TV, and were the Fresh Artist on Top 10 on Teen Nick.
I’m a serious adult. And they’re a serious band. No judgement.
5. I was complimented.
This is what actually helped today. Since I was planning on just staying home cleaning I put my hair up in a bandana, Rosie the Riveter style. I was wearing a tank top and pajama bottoms, when my sister asked for a ride to work. So I changed into my leopard dress and a cardigan. It didn’t feel right so when I got back home I changed back into the tank top and put on capri leggings. Then I had to drive back to work to pick up my sister after her shift. Wanting to look halfway decent I decided to change yet again since I had to go inside the store, buy dinner, and ask my brother if he needed a ride home. (Have I mentioned that all my siblings and I work at the same grocery store?) I settled on a black maxi dress and put on my favorite cardigan hoping that would help my fashion rut of today.
I looked into the mirror before leaving the house and did not like the look. I didn’t look like my usual high standard self. I was nervous that someone would mention how bad my hair looked or something about how I’ve worn this dress for the last 4 times I’ve been in the store. (When not in uniform and I had to do some quick shopping and this dress was on top of my clothes pile so I would throw it on to leave the house then change out as soon as I got home.) I don’t like going outside in pajamas or my ‘lounge wear.’ On the ride over I just kept thinking “I hope ‘So and so’ isn’t there. ‘So and so’ would definitely comment on the state of my hair.” and “Please don’t let ‘Cute Boy’ see me. I am not cute enough to talk to him right now.”
As I parked the car I gave myself a pep talk. I told myself if I act like my confident self then I’ll be alright. No one will notice and it’ll be fine. And remember “Those who mind, don’t matter and those who matter, don’t mind.” (Yes, I quote Dr. Seuss in my pep talks to myself. Serious adult.) I walked into that store pretending I was wearing a Givenchy gown. I don’t know if it was my boost of confidence or if I looked much better than I actually gave myself credit for but a lot of my co-workers complimented me. Someone from the Kitchen area really liked my cardigan, a sweet girl who works in the Grocery department said I looked ‘super cute’ and one of the boys agreed with her. Then of course ‘Cute Boy’ was there. He smiled at me.
And he looked happy to see me.
My heart fluttered a little bit.
But back to reality.
One of the guys I joke around with told me I needed to learn how to wear a bandana so I had to give him a brief history on Rosie the Riveter. Cute boy said I needed to wear the bandana in my back jeans pocket Bruce Springsteen style. I told him if I was wearing jeans I probably would. And he laughed.
He has such a cute laugh.
And he smiled again.
There’s a reason I call him Cute Boy people. I’m crushing hard. (May I remind you of my crushed post? Go read it real quick. I’ll wait for you.)
The whole point I was trying to make before Cute Boy interrupted me;
I still need to respect myself, but I don’t have to be as insanely self-conscious about how I look. After my break up I had in my mind that I had to look put together all the time. The whole ‘I have my life together’ thing I talked about before. But I don’t have to be ‘super model ready’ to go to the supermarket. I knew this before but it’s nice to be reminded once in a while.
So here I am to remind you. Embrace your messy hair. You can be fabulous without foundation. You can be your charming self without mascara. You don’t need concealer to crack a joke.* Impress yourself. Don’t impress others. Remember that Dr. Seuss quote from before? Just be yourself and surround yourself with people who raise you up. And be that person who raises up others. I am ultimately saying; You do you. Just keep being your awesome self and everything will fall into line.**
Chop chop, lollipops!
*This is not me going on a “don’t wear make up” feminist rant. If you don’t like wearing make up, you don’t have to wear make up. If you like wearing make up, wear make up.
**Also I really hope this whole thing makes sense. I’m feeling a bit feverish and is still a bit sleep deprived.
No comments:
Post a Comment